This is the parody I wrote in class, quite a long time ago but I found it and thought it would be great to blog.
O asparagus, asparagus! Wherefore art thou asparagus?
Deny thy roots and refuse thy name!
Or, if thou wilt not, know that I will not eat you
Tis but thy name that is my digestive enemy;
Thou art thyself, though not a vegetable
What’s vegetable? It is not spicy, nor salty, nor savory, nor sweet, nor any other part belonging to a tasty food.
O, be some other name!
What’s in a name? That which we call a mother by any other name would still be as bossy
Without that title, asparagus, weed whack thy name.