Two summers ago I convinced my parents to buy me a bow and arrow. At the time I wanted it for entertainment, and enjoyment. I did not want it just because of the Hunger Games phase, and it wasn’t because I was so bored I needed to have a weapon to have fun. I wanted the power and the rush of hitting that target, and to do something that would make me feel confident. I don’t like sports so I guess I just wanted to have something to show that I wasn’t weak. That I was powerful in my own right and no one could take that away from me. But it turns out you can’t just buy a bow and arrow and be a natural instantly.
It is not easy to actually hit the target the first time you’ve ever done it. It is something you have to learn and I was a little impatient. And it had unexpected consequences, when you release an arrow from a bow the line can hit you and hurt. I wasn’t expecting that. I just wanted it for my own selfish reasons and in fact you have to practice to be powerful. I didn’t use it this past summer; I told myself it was because I was too busy working but deep down I know that’s just a lame excuse. I had wanted it so bad in the beginning then I should want to use it all the time right? In the end it was another powerful thing that again turned me into the weak one. Maybe I shouldn’t have been afraid but it is common for people to not want to get hurt.
That huge bruise that swelled up on my arm made me realize, at that moment, maybe I was not meant to be powerful. I am powerful in other ways through academics and the power of family and friendship. But maybe if I allow myself to be strong and practice the bow and arrow, then maybe after a while it won’t hurt me anymore. Maybe this summer I’ll have to dig it up again; we can’t always be afraid of the things that hurt us. After all, what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger, right?